Need Me, Want Me
by Meridian31
Summary: "Tell me you need me." / Drabble. One-Shot.


The way his hands felt as they glided down from your ribs to your hips, before moving back up the same path, taking your shirt with them…it was a feeling you knew you'd never be able to forget.

He was so light in his touch, yet so confident. Hot, yet distant. Your skin developed bumps as he left his hands gently against your ribs, just below your bra, his nails biting into your skin just ever so slightly.

Some things never changed.

The last time he'd been this close to you, this intimate, was about five months had been the last night you'd spent together. And the next day you'd told him you were ending the relationship, in no uncertain terms, and walked out of his house.

It had been a classic 'it's not you, it's me'...except it was genuine. You had been younger than he when you met, and he already had his life goals set. You had no idea what you were doing; no career path, taking random college classes, working as a secretary at a hair salon. So, you let yourself get caught up in his world, making sure your schedule always fit around his, ditching your friends to be with him when he was home from the road.

While everyone saw an issue with your behavior after a few months, it took you well over a year before you understood what the concerns were. You'd been sitting alone in your apartment, and hadn't been able to locate a sweater you wanted to wear. You realized it was probably at his house. And then you noticed how few of his items were at your place. It was such a small, trivial thing really, but it had hit you like a ton of bricks all the same.

This relationship wasn't equal.

So after one last night together, for your own purely selfish reasons, you told him in the morning you had to go. That you didn't want to be with him anymore, and you needed to be on your own.

The look on his face was one you'd never forget.

Contact between the two of your since then had been minimal. A couple run ins while out at familiar haunts, but nothing substantial. Those few times when your eyes had met, you had felt awkward and awful. While he gave you barely any facial expressions, you knew the look in his eyes well enough to know he wasn't happy.

Which brought you to tonight. This night had found both of you invited to the same birthday party at a bar for a mutual friend. Per usual, you'd kept your distance from each other, your eyes unintentionally catching each other's at random. One of you always looked away. But as more alcohol came and went, your gazes began to stay together, longer and longer, until you were sitting beside each other at the bar.

It hadn't been nearly as weird as you thought it would be to be so near him again. The alcohol was most likely to thank for that. You easily fell back in to comfort and familiarity and routine; talk turning to laughter turning to flirting. You'd caught up with each other: him updating you on his wrestling career, you telling him about your new job working at a daycare/pre-school. Everything seemed…normal.

But it wasn't.

And now you found yourself in a dark corner of a back parking lot, Adam's mouth attached to yours, hands gripping and sliding and enjoying each other's bodies. It was not your nature to be engaged in such a public display, but every part of you wanted every part of him as close as possible at that moment.

You knew you were playing with fire. You had no idea what he was expecting out of his encounter, if it would be a one-night-relapse, or a jumping off point to more. Your reunion inside…it felt like there was an unspoken 'I miss you' hanging between you both. But was it missing just the physical portion, or the emotional too? This could end up just being a big mistake.

His mouth left yours, to go down to your neck, and he pressed himself harder against you as he did so. Your hand tightened on his shoulder, your body arching into his, with your other hand clasped onto his hip to hold him to you.

"Tell me you need me."

Your breath caught in your throat, your heart stuttering at his murmured words against your skin.

There was barely a moment of hesitation, before you moved back just enough to tell him his words had an effect. But it probably wasn't the effect he wanted. Adam lifted his head, looking at you, appearing almost surprised as he realized what he'd stated, and how it could be taken. However, his expression quickly changed to nothing.

"I don't."

Once he processed your words, he let go of you entirely, taking a step back, putting inches between your bodies.

" _What_?"

"I don't…need you, that is," you reiterated. "I want you, though."

Adam didn't respond, and you had a feeling he was now regretting his comment.

"After we…after I left, it sucked. A lot. And I wasn't sure what to do and how to get on with my life. But then I… uh, I figured it out. And I got it together, and I made myself who I am today. Someone who is fine on their own," you explained.

"So no, I don't _need_ you. I'm pretty much fine without you. But…I do want you. I liked having you in my life, but I can't let you run it, not again. I have to have my say and control and make my own time to do what I want. But um, having you, with me, it can be fun and amazing, and I know you can add something good to my day. I want to have things _with_ you."

"I…." Adam trailed off, clearly at a loss for words. He looked so…you weren't sure what to call it. Surprised? Amazed? Hesitant? Offended?

"We were good together…until I, I don't know…like, I lost myself in you and your life. That won't happen again, I can promise that. But…I think together, as partners, uh, as equals...I think we'd be really happy," you elaborated.

"I never wanted you to stop being you," Adam disputed, sounding sad, wounded by your words. "I always wanted _you_."

"I know," you assured. "But like, I…I didn't know who I was. And I made me about _you_. Which…that's not OK. I need to be me. I need to be me, and be me when I'm with you. This…I made those choices then, Adam. You were just…an unfortunate catalyst to my stupidity. I'm not blaming you, _I'm not_. I'm just saying…I, um, may not be the same girl you knew before. I like to think I'm better…but you may see it differently."

Adam just stared at you, and you couldn't blame him. This encounter had gone in a completely unpredicted direction. You had not come here with any intentions of any of this, and you were sure he hadn't expected any part of this either. But it was happening. And now you needed to both deal with it.

"You don't seem that different," he decided, tilting his head ever so slightly. A bittersweet smile ghosted on your lips.

"Well, I am," you confirmed. "Like I said, I've learned to do my own thing and do what makes me happy and…I've learned I need time for me…"

"As anyone should," Adam agreed. "Look…I get it, I get what you're saying. This isn't the same thing it was before. We aren't the same people as before." You nodded. "So…let's…let's just learn each other again, and be friends and…just, uh, have no expectations, OK?"

"I can back that."

"Cool. So…can I buy you a drink, _friend_?" You grinned and rolled your eyes good-naturedly, taking his extended hand, causing his own smile to widen.

"Sure, _friend_. Lead the way."


End file.
